// Self-Care & Self-Love with Gooey Girl

Always love when I can share my thoughts about self-care and self-love with other amazing women!  Thank you twitter for connecting us. Can't wait to see what we get to build together in the future. 

“I think self-care is more about healing and protecting your truth when I think self-care these days. Healing is a daily practice. Self-care is self-love. I had a life threatening eating disorder in high school that almost killed me. Being that close to death, you start looking at life and your body differently. You see how delicate life can be, and how much time is wasted not loving yourself. When we believe we are worthy, as we are, self-love (and thus self-care) becomes far easier.”

Read the whole piece here. 

// All Them Opinions

Can we just stop? Like, can it just be over…all the rants about things people have said to one another about another’s body? Can we finally just accept that we all have different bodies, and different likes and different thoughts on what we like in, on, and around our bodies? 

Reading another blog about the unsettling situations that highlight someone’s ignorance, or just sheer misfortune of not knowing what is and isn’t appropriate made me think… perhaps I should write all the times an uncomfortable comment was made at me, or to me, concerning me and my body. 

The list would almost be too long to complete, but more so, I don’t have the time or energy to make one. At some point, it’s exhausting to highlight all the negative. It’s tiresome to lament another’s bullshit and issues they put on you. 

As a youth, just like everyone else, I had my worries about others opinions of me. Even now, no matter how self assured and confident and earnest I am, in my work and life, there are still things that are said that bother me. They don’t hurt now, but they are just bothersome. Maybe they expose a side of humanity I still don’t want to think exists, maybe they show small minds and how sad it is society still functions with such mediocrity of thought and acceptance… or maybe they are just rude and insensitive. 

Everyone will always have an opinion, and a set of standards that may or may not be yours. So, I’m going to pause on sharing stories of things said to me or about me. I am not going to try to validate my worth and substance, because I have no energy for that. Instead, I will share some truisms I have complied over the years. 

/ You will always be too much for someone. 

/ Often the most successful and prolific people, are also the most misunderstood, hated, and/or feared. Being a weirdo has helped me more than it has hurt me. 

/ The opinions of others rarely have anything to do with you…your worth, your substance, the content of your heart, and your glorious mind. However, when you have a trusted circle of friends and partners in life, their outside opinion might help you learn more about yourself. Take it in. Listen. And see if it fits. All opinions are there for us to take and use for good, or confirm internally they are false and can be let go.  

/ As long as you are comfortable, happy, healthy and not hurting anyone…do you. And keep doing you. I source so much power from knowing I’m living on purpose and in spirit, even if no one else gets it. They really don’t have to. 

/ Be kind to others, in your words and deeds. Be kind to yourself, too. 

// #mindfulmonday

If there is one thing that I think can make your life better, in any area, it is your mindset. We have the power to work on our brains, and the thoughts we think, including the messages we tell ourselves all day long. In honor of this new #mindfulmonday post, I’m going to list a few things that come to mind on the topic.

/ What does it mean… “Mindful” ?

To be mindful, simply means “pay attention” and when we pay attention our minds and bodies slow down. This is where the healing aspects of meditation come into play. 

/ Then what is meditation? 

Meditation is the practice of thinking deeply, or focusing one’s mind for a given period of time, in silence or by use of someone’s voice in a guided meditation. I encourage and talk a great deal about meditation, with my background in depression and anxiety, and yet I think many are intimidated by it, or scared.

If you have never even tried to meditate, I can imagine it might seem overwhelming or something you can’t do because your thoughts don’t stop… or even boring. You might think it will take too long or not help. Well, the thing is… every little bit helps. We all have to start somewhere, and even 10 minutes of focusing your mind can help. Use an app, and choose a meditation that is guided (meaning someone will talk you through what to think and how to properly relax your body) and choose a quiet, safe space to practice. 

In terms of being scared… sometimes thoughts and issues we don’t want to deal with because they hurt come up. Sometimes these thoughts expose sides of us we don’t want to face or acknowledge, sometimes they show us how we are and we don’t want to accept that. This might happen. This might not. Feelings are scary but I can tell you that working through anything rough, will only get you to a higher, more light, and more free space. 

/ How to be mindful?

Try meditation. Try to tune into your senses more. Try to give yourself some silence, and allow thoughts to come and go. Focus on your breath. Find a mantra that works for you or repeat your intention… or anything that speaks to you.

Try apps that can help you meditate. 

In yoga class, never leave before savasana, which is often the highest form of practice (to be still.)

/ In closing 

Being mindful, and paying attention will allow you to be more present in your life. It will change your brain, too. Though scientists aren’t fully sure how it works, the brain changes the brain. It has been found with consistent meditation, the brain changes in areas that relate to emotional intelligence. It means you will have more empathy for yourself and others, more compassion for yourself and others… And overall, it has the power to change how you react to stimuli in your environment, and ultimately live a better, calmer, more fulfilling life. 

/ #mindfulmonday suggested thoughts

For this week, I share with you my favorite, and most powerful mantra. You could also call it an affirmation, and you can repeat it over and over as you meditate or all day long if you’d like. 

In yoga I say, come back to the breath. But you can also come back to your thoughts, come back to your intention, come back to what you want to tell yourself… But make sure to always keep the thoughts in the positive versus the negative. For example, instead of I am not tired, change it to something like, I am alive, awake, and aware. 

Fill in the blank with something that speaks to you. 

I AM _____________. 

Suggestions:

I am loved, loving and lovable. 

I am abundance. 

I am powerful, strong, and able face anything that comes my way. 

I am a child of addiction and it’s not my shame. 

I am bigger than my struggles. 

I am alive, awake, and aware. 

I am happy with my body, and love what it can do. 

I am safe. 

I am ready. 

I am willing. 

…. 

And the list goes on. Insert anything you need to hear, or are working on, and let that be where your mindfulness and meditation starts. 

// #DontGetBentOutOfShape Highlight Feature

Jessamyn Stanley (IG) is one of my favorite inspiring women, that I have had the pleasure of knowing and following throughout her journey.

We recently both spent the day at a Manduka (IG) event, and finally got to connect! Having extremely similar views on who yoga is marketed to, and how those people look and are shaped, led us to engaging in some great conversations. I’m so proud she is open about starting a dialogue that matters, and that yoga needs. 

The messaging behind #DontGetBentOutOfShape, is that of stopping the body obsessing and showing up…to practice and to life. Showing up and being seen. It’s a vulnerable move that many are still too scared to do…but Jessamyn, myself, and many others are here to show you that yoga is for everyone in a real, authentic, and approachable way. Body acceptance is for everyone, too!

// #DontGetBentOutOfShape / Thoughts on body image

As I watch the content being posted on social media channels, it’s hard to miss the obsession we have with body and image. No matter the campaign at hand, I seem to find, even the "proud of your body" social posts are still a focus on the body… And I’m sick of the body obsession that takes time and energy from living a life that is full of positive experiences.  

Regardless of gender, we all think about our bodies far more than we should. It takes away precious time… Life is short, and imagine how much you could do and be and enjoy if all the moments you spent worrying about your body were used for something more positive and fulfilling. Social media has a wonderful way to build community but it also creates a false narrative of what health is, what bodies look like, and how we should feel in our bodies…

As someone with a past of depression, anxiety and borderline eating disorder as a teen (anxiety manifested into me being about 85lbs and almost dying)… I’ll be the first to say, the mind is a key component to body acceptance and peace. Our thoughts fuel everything from how we feel to the actions we take, to how we treat ourselves and those around us.

I’m much more interested in what my body can do and far less in what it looks like. Certainly, there is a message of health in everything I do, but the only thing I ever got from obsessing over my body or comparing my insides to other people’s outsides, was tired. Tired of having to waste my precious time and energy and thoughts on something so arbitrary, relative and ultimately meaningless. Fundamentally we are not our bodies… They are just fun sporty models we get to run around in while we are on this beautiful earth. So why not let go of all the obsession… All the comparison… Because time is of the essence, and you might as well be proud of who you are… Be it thick, be it slim, be it muscular, be it short or tall… Just chill… Even if you’re on a health journey to something else.

Body image is a weird thing, honestly. Speaking from where I am now, I rarely think about it. I’m so concerned with all the thoughts in my head and the feelings in my heart, and trying to find love in everything I do while praying for those who need my blessings, and being a humble and earnest person in the world… I don’t have time to think about my body. It’s just a handy vehicle for my soul while I run around this planet for a spark of time in the grand scheme of infinity.

I think the strongest thing one can do, mentally and otherwise, is set an intention. From that place, all decisions should flow. An intuition (mine was always, ‘I want to feel good’) or mantra, will help you make choices that reflect your inner most desire. When you’re living based on that intention, your body will follow suit. My skin, my hair, how my joints move, to how my digestion works is a reflection of the decisions I make based on the simple intention of “I want to feel good.”

Maybe it sounds simplistic. Maybe it sounds far too optimistic and carefree. But I can promise you, nothing fulfilling and beautiful will come from a mind full of obsession and comparison. You will never feel the self assured peace and love that comes with accepting your self and your physical form.

What is your intention?

What affirmation do you use to change your inner dialogue to a more positive, and loving one?

What does self love mean to you and how do you show that to yourself?

Join the conversation here, and don’t forget to post your #dontgetbentoutofshape participation on socials!

// Thoughts on Social Media, Wellness, and Self

Social media has become a special place for me, that is used constantly in my business and interacting with brands, people and places I find inspiring and enlightening. Sorting out one’s role in this world of socials might be difficult but despite what boxes I might fit into, at the core of my work is a passion to share what I know with others. I’m ultimately an educator of yoga, and fitness; of mindfulness and peaceful living, and someone with some serious opinions on our bodies and our relationships to them.

In being on the inside of this strange, smoke and mirror laden social media fitness world, I see the pros and the cons of exactly where I am situated. Inspiration abounds and a sense of “we’re in this together” develops over common interests and issues. What’s better for someone in the wellness industry than to be able to reach far more people than they could in their neighborhoods and communities? To share their stories with the masses? It’s a special moment when I receive touching messages from people everyday, all over the world sharing their yoga pictures with me, saying they tried something new (yoga) because of me, or how they are taking back their own style in terms of health. 

However, for all the power and inspiration we share, there is also a side that I know exists; as I’ve been there too, 62 weeks deep in someone’s page thinking, is this a feasible lifestyle? We can get trapped spending an unusual amount of time scrolling through pages of edited, nipped, tucked, and filtered photos of models and contrived lives. We start measuring ourselves against these often unreal standards. We compare our insides to their outsides, and it can never be enough. 

Watching all this unfold around me, I had to step back and think about what my role was in all this. 

I started posting yoga poses because I wanted to share my way of doing yoga and living that was free of rules and stereotypes. I have a deep and long attachment to yoga, the values it taught me and how it made me feel. Traditional American yoga standards didn’t really accept me, as I had always done things a little differently than the norm. But it was the only way I knew how to share; from a place of authenticity. If I can’t offer a genuine portrayal of how I maintain a healthy lifestyle in this body, then why am I here? You should all keep it moving if I can’t share that.

When we see something real and obtainable, or something we can look at and see ourselves, we sit back and realize it’s ok. It’s ok to be this shape or that, or to struggle with our bodies or our thoughts surrounding them. The most beneficial part of all this social media fitness, and what I most identify with in my own purpose, is the fact that we learn we aren’t alone. Social media will forever be criticized that it creates a false connectedness, and we will end up unsatisfied because of our neglected human need for relationships as we are lose touch with how to communicate in a real way. But, what if these messages and sentiments get people to local yoga classes, running clubs, or anything that is an in-person exchange? Fitness easily takes to group settings and can create common ground between even the most uncommon of individuals.

Once we see through dark corners and find the light in socials, we can take a conscious look at what someone is putting out and the messages they are sharing. You might just find some genuine exchanges of how we all strive to achieve a more healthy state. From what I have found, we are much more alike than we are different. In our triumphs and in our struggles; in our moments of celebration, and in our moments of insecurity and faltering self esteems, even if we never post anything about them.

Our physical bodies aren’t that different either. We all have the same shoulders, the same hips and most of us want to find a greater peace with our bodies, be it in how they move or in how they are shaped. We all seek a better sense of self, and want to find people to look up to that are living in a way we admire. Social media creates a place for that to include people all over the globe, with as many different shapes and sizes as there are different fitness disciplines and styles.

Social media, health and wellness might break us down as much as it brings us together, but I can only hope that we find fitness trends that can be turned into lifestyles, individuals who promote something positive in an other wise dark world, and a place of acceptance for our bodies and ourselves.